Change your Mindset

I woke up this morning thinking about mindset and how it impacts who we are and what we believe about ourselves. How it impacts the trajectory of our lives.

People often ask me how I managed to graduate from law school three months after having a baby. Because it never occurred to me that I couldn’t.

Mindset has a lot to do with the choices that we make, the things that we believe, and as a result, the things that happen in our lives.

What we believe ultimately becomes our reality. If you believe you can do something you can and you will. But if you don’t believe it you can’t and you won’t.

It’s true of travel as it is of anything else. If you believe you can’t travel by yourself you’ll miss out on a lot of things in life. While it’s great to have someone to travel with it’s essential to take at least one trip completely alone in your life.

It’s important to be able to keep your own company and sit with yourself. And if you can’t you should ask yourself why?

If you don’t want to spend time alone with yourself why should anyone else?

Women, especially black women are always told by society, especially American society, what we cannot do. So believing in yourself and your ability to be and do what you want in your life is a revolutionary act. Be revolutionary.

Every single one of us has the power to live the life we want. It all begins with your mindset. Change your mind and it will change your life.

Wake up in the morning. Don’t pick up your phone and start reading the news or looking at social media. Instead, walk to your bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror, smile and say one positive thing to yourself. Something as simple as “I’m going to have a great day today”. Or “I’m a winner” or “I am beautiful and special.”

It may sound silly but try it for 2 weeks. Do it every single day. And you will see the difference. Don’t just say it. But say it with a smile on your face and believe what you’re saying.

Then at least once a week go somewhere by yourself. And I know we’re in the middle of a pandemic so make sure you wash your hands and put on a mask before you leave. It could be as simple as taking a walk alone in a park or taking a drive somewhere you wanted to see in your city but that you’ve never been to.

This is not a walk or drive to the grocery store or to do anything. This is a walk or drive to just be.

Do it alone. On a nice day just go sit in the park early in the morning or at sunset. Take yourself to a nice brunch or lunch outside all by yourself.

Spend time with yourself you will be in great company!

From there consider a weekend getaway to a place that you want to go. Stay in an Airbnb or a bed-and-breakfast or a hotel. It could just be for one night. But the key is to do it by yourself.

Get a sitter. Ask a close friend or relative to watch your kid(s) just for one day and one night.

Spending time intentionally alone will be one of the best gifts that you can give to yourself. It will be a time for you to center your mind and think about what you want for yourself what you want for your kid(s) if you’re a single mom, and what you want for your future.

Remember this is all about changing the way you think about what you can do and what you cannot do.

Try it and see and then tell me about it in the comments.

But remember you are the architect of your own life. Nobody else. What you believe about your life and about yourself is what will become and remain your reality.

Challenge yourself to think more positively about yourself. And start believing that you can do the things that you want to do. And that you can become the person that you want to be. That’s the first step.

Change your mind and change your life.